30 days of abundance // day 22: why I like to drink beer while doing yoga

I love beer, and I love yoga, and the two together make a sweet sweet symphony. and of course there's something about the irreverence of the whole thing. one of the things that I really love about my practice is that

 

I'm not a yoga purist.

 

to me, yoga is not about standing on my head. it's not about being pious. and it's definitely not about being superior. if anything, it's about being real. it's about authentically inhabiting my body. it's about having a safe place to return to when the world knocks me on my ass. it's about knowing my value and knowing my truth. 

anyone who has met me knows I'm not really an anything purist. I wasn't an academic purist or a sustainability purist or whateverthehell. you'll also notice that I have a strong affection for swear words. I love to sleep. and I love to party. I love to work hard. I love to try new things and take risks.

 

and I'm not sorry.

 

some of these things turn some people off, and that's ok. they're not my people. for me, living on my own terms is good for my health. it is, in fact, possible to build a small business and talk about the heart chakra and the importance of not giving a shit all at the same time. thinking differently is how I solve problems. prioritizing differently is how I manage to do all sorts of things that many people don't do. it also means I don't do all sorts of things that many people do. which is neither here nor there, it just happens to be my style. 

 

my dad once said, "you need to get your priorities straight." I said, "my priorities are straight, they're just different from yours."

 

I'm stoked that I trained with someone who had studied and done all the yoga, and teaches a philosophy of "whatever works." whatever works for you, your body, your life. it's why I teach from a place of figuring out what works for you. and I live from a place of figuring out what works for me.

I say, show up and do your best. fuck expectations.

 

at the end of the day you have only your own integrity to answer to, and you'll know whether or not you showed up, whatever it looked like to anyone else.

 

30 days of abundance // day 18: book recs for the holidays

putting the final touches on my second retreat of the year. just opened my online store. secured half the funding needed in my small, private crowdfunding campaign for my book.

much is still under construction - design decisions still being made, titles being chosen. and much will be revealed come january.

 

but I look at the work I've done to find my way, and I know I've been doing good work.

 

it's Dec. 1 and I'm thinking about the holidays...this time last year was frankly a scary moment. I just thought back to the very first step I took in the right direction...and it started with a book called The Firestarter Sessions by Danielle LaPorte. the tag line is: A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms. I actually bought it for my littler brother for Christmas, snuck a peek, and then proceeded  do devour the whole thing myself before returning the dust jacket and wrapping it for him. the book lays out a path of honest questions, clear gems of wisdom, and a shitload of inspiration to fire off in the direction of true calling.

 

The Firestarter Sessions led me to The Desire Map, which walked me through a series of exercises to help me boil down to six desired feelings that I want in my life. mine are:

 

clear. light. abundant.

grounded. centered. nourished.

 

the idea is that if I check in with these desired feelings every morning, every night, and whenever I'm making a big decision, I'll never be far off course in creating the life I want. actually, I realized somewhere along the way that I felt most in line with the feelings immediately after yoga. and I started checking in with myself in dealing with friends and lovers...if I don't feel more clear, light, abundant, grounded, centered, and nourished when dealing with them, they become a no.

to be honest, I forget often. but when I remember I realign with the work I did to figure out what I wanted in the first place.

this was all in january and december of last year - before the lease buyout and the trip to bali and the yoga training and the decision to stop acquiescing to what everyone else wanted and to start doing me.

if you've got the same itch...as far as tools go, I can't recommend Danielle's work enough. I've been passing along hard copies and raving all year. 

ps my bday is coming up and if anyone wants to get the me the desire map planner, I wouldn't be sad.

Source: bit.ly/12fosDf

30 days of abundance // day 17: what happens when you create boundaries and start saying no

 

in families. in work. in relationships.

 

you know when you're dealing with someone who wants some of what you've got. your talent, your time, your energy, your smarts, your help, your generosity, your teamwork, your sexy, your goodness, your sweetness, your awesome.

and most of us want, more than anything, to be liked. no matter how rebellious we are, we desperately want the approval of our families, our friends, peers, and colleagues. and so what most of us do, much of the time, is acquiesce. someone wants something, we try to give it to them.

the extra cleaning up after someone. the work demands that we know are bullshit. the caring more about the other person's well-being than your own. the making excuses for bad behavior. any unpaid professional work guised as "favors." the extra time spent on someone or something when we know we should be tending to ourselves. the way we edit our lives to present to friends and family. any way that we sell ourselves short.

 

any shifting of behavior or thoughts that deep down in you, you know grows from wanting approval or at least avoiding disapproval.

 

weirdly, the flip side of the coin is competition: instead of acquiescing for approval, we try to win at something for approval. we try to look better at something. we try to build castles of approval to keep ourselves safe.

 

both steal our energy. in both cases we bleed out something that belongs to us. 

 

I had a beautiful conversation tonight with a business partner/childhood friend, and I was talking about the tear that I've been on for at least a year and a half. and she noted how one of my projects is called grounding arts...and how much of my attention is currently on grounding. she pointed out that often the message we're laying out for others is the message we most need for ourselves. and the reason I'm talking about grounding is that healthy boundaries wrap all the way back around to the root chakra..back to the core of power and identity and being good with oneself.

 

because when you're really good with yourself, none of that noise can touch you. seriously.

fuck that noise.

 

absurd demands on your time and energy present themselves as such. pointless competition becomes obvious.

this is, of course, not the same as being generous and being there for someone. giving well actually comes from the same place as saying no well. it comes from a place of truly owning your shit. and of owning your value.

 

it becomes much easier to say no when you know your own value. and it becomes much easier to not give a shit about competition when you don't feel any charge around it, whatever the other person is doing.

 

when you know your value, the concept of insecurity becomes moot. I made it a point the other day to ground in and neutralize. this stuff can all be clear as day, and it still takes practice. we're human, and flawed, and we get wrapped up in the stupidities of life.

 

one of the most powerful lessons I've learned has been to say no to anything and everything that does not serve me, no matter how badly someone else would like me to do differently.

 

my teacher said, "if you're not in your power, it's a no." and the truth is it might piss some people off. it might disappoint some people. they may pout, stomp their feet, argue, compete, or fall away. all of that is ok. when you stand on your own to feet in your very own power, none of that shit matters.

 

and when none of that shit matters to you, only magic remains.

 

this is what happens when you create boundaries and start saying no.

 

 

 

30 days of abundance // day 14: truth and vibration

I've had some really good conversations over the last couple of days about how to maintain love and compassion in challenging times. the throat chakra is about truth and vibration, and it's hard to keep the heart and our truth connected. this popped into my world and struck me as the closest thing to truth tonight.

(hat/tip) marcella fredericks and vita love.